But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my being single is dangerous.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
