i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
