So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
