My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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