Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
