I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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