Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
