shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
