Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
