Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
It's Friday. Sex?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize