so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
