If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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