I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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