Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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