Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
