You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
