At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
