You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
