I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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