I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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