Are we in a gay sports bar?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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