that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
