I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
