I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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