i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
