she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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