look no pants
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this just has baby written all over it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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