i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well you can't waste a boner
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
