Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
