After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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