The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
