Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
