on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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