Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
