Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
