That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
