Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
