So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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