Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
