I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
