oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
