Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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