Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
