I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
