People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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