oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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