I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
