My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need water and some morals
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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