I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
