Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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